Page 46 of Apple's new iOS agreement is a funny fake. But makes a serious point

A message spread across social networks in the last day or two.

Have you seen page 46 of Apple's (lengthy) terms and conditions for iOS 7?

Fake iOS terms and conditions

It looks like whoever was writing Apple's colossal terms and conditions document had a minor breakdown when they realised no-one was ever likely to read their words:

Oh you know what? This is page 46, nobody's still reading this. I bet only about five people clicked to read the T&Cs in the first place - we might as well just say anything we like.

Tony on floor 5 of Apple HQ smells of sardines.

When someone sends a funny email around the offices we have to reply with iLaughed. It's in our job description.

Remember that legal kerfuffle over Apple & Apple studios? Want to know how we fixed it? We bought The Beatles. We have the surviving ones come and sing to us for scraps. We're looking at ways to reanimate the dead ones.

The canteen only sells apple products. Apples, apple juice, apple flapjacks, toffee apples. We get fired if we're caught eating anything without apples in it. I'M ALLERGIC TO APPLES AND I'M ALWAYS HUNGRY.

We faked the moon landings. Did it in 2008, then brainwashed you all to believe it happened in 1969, just because we could. If anyone finds out I've leaked this information, I'll be killed. But no one will ever, ever read this.

I'd love to tell you that this crazy rant really does exist in the iOS 7 T&Cs. The world would be a more wonderful place if it were true (although someone in Cupertino would surely be getting fired).

iPhoneSadly, it turns out that the image was a joke, created by the Huffington Post's UK Comedy team.

However, even though it's a joke it *does* still make an important point.

99.99% of people don't read the dull, ponderous, excessively wordy terms and conditions that many software and hardware manufacturers push upon us at installation time.

In our excitement to update our software, or try out a new gadget, we skip the one thing that could warn us that our private information is going to be shared in a way that we aren't comfortable, or that our photographs might be added to a facial recognition service, or that our emails will be read by robots in order to provide context-sensitive advertising.

Everyone should be more diligent about checking T&Cs and ensuring that they are comfortable with them. If we all did that... who knows? Maybe we'd not only stumble across the occasionally humorous clause, but also see something that rings privacy alarm bells.

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12 Responses

  1. LOL freak

    September 24, 2013 at 12:11 pm #

    lol !!! if everyone would to read the t&c technology we know today would have grind to a halt, god knows how many privacy and security areas have they violate not to mention other grey areas we aren't aware of

  2. Gavin

    September 24, 2013 at 1:05 pm #

    > Everyone should be more diligent about checking T&Cs…
    Yeah, fair enough – but even nicer would be if the length were cut down and the boilerplate re-written in plain English.

    • Xane Myers in reply to Gavin.

      October 2, 2013 at 5:52 pm #

      Yeah. It'd be nice if they had a shorter,
      easier-to-read version before the legal gibberish that follows it
      and if they overall changed the English to normal English ad
      removed the stupid part where they say they are
      "indemnified" or whatever (AKA the part where
      they say they are "not responsible" for anything
      wrong that happens upon use of their product); I bet people know
      it's the software, not the person, that causes the
      problems. (Unless they're a hacker)

      • TheDinosaurInSpace in reply to Xane Myers.

        July 15, 2014 at 8:34 am #

        If they were shorter we probably wouldn't sign up for things…
        If facebooks t&c were shorter no one would be on there. Have your read those things your basicly giving all your private information away…

        That's why there long, to stop us from reading it.

  3. Hardcolorz

    September 27, 2013 at 4:45 am #

    It takes literally weeks to read the T&C if you
    read 8 hours a day!

  4. opossum

    October 2, 2013 at 12:35 am #

    too bad the next generation gives out the "TL;DR" excuse

  5. @deanshaw

    October 24, 2013 at 4:10 pm #

    Fortunately, I have compiled 'The Official Cheat Sheet of the Top Social Networks Privacy Policies' http://wp.me/pKLGG-7q It pretty much covers all you need to know. Your welcome ;)

  6. Austin

    December 2, 2013 at 1:23 pm #

    I think I'm gonna give myself an Id 10 t pass for believing this one

  7. anonymous

    December 16, 2013 at 1:58 pm #

    but in saying that, if you don't agree to their
    terms and conditions, you don't get to use the service.
    Saying no vs. not having a smart phone, I still think 99% of people
    would still just blindly accept.

  8. Stephen Lyons

    March 28, 2014 at 4:34 pm #

    Reminds me of this Dilbert cartoon:
    http://dilbert.com/strips/comic/1997-06-07/

  9. Laurie

    June 30, 2015 at 4:17 pm #

    I was wading through that morass of legal-dygook, and then I wondered what I was supposed to do if I didn’t agree? I can not update my apps… but can I contest the terms anywhere aside from that? As far as I could find from my web search after seeing the ridiculous 45+ page agreement -no. Is it time for us to get app legalese lawyers? Maybe.

  10. Nance

    July 5, 2015 at 2:42 pm #

    Ha! I just skimmed the T&Cs … the page "timed out" and wouldn't let me agree. I'm most worried about: App/Book/Music services "are available to you only in the United States, its territories, and possessions. You agree not to use or attempt to use the App and Book Services from outside these locations. Apple may use technologies to verify your compliance." So … if I get an app/book/music, I can't use it on an overseas business trip or they'll come after me with their "technologies?"

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